The Game
by StarsAndSunshineForAllFandoms
Summary: The Doctor and her new friends play a game after yet another dangerous adventure. The Doctor got poisoned and opens up about her past and the people she lost and for the first time her new fam realises how much their friend has lost. This is my first fanfiction ever! By the way English is my second language so I probably made some mistakes. Sorry!


"Now it's your turn Doctor!" Yaz, Ryan, Graham and the Doctor just came back from a very exhausting and dangerous adventure. It was still very early and the timelady as well as her friends had to much adrenalin running through them to even think about going to bed.

The couches and armchairs in the cosy room were comfortable and looked totally different from the console room. They were old and definitely used a lot. The room itself was lit by a big fireplace and a few tiny lamps that were scattered around. Ryan said that it reminded him of the Gryffindor common room in Hogwarts.

"But I still don't get how I have to play the game." Yaz rolled her eyes. The Doctor was very clever when it came to technology and aliens but she was a bit behind when it came to socialising. Especially since she's somehow been poisoned on their latest trip. Nothing life-threatening but it still slowed her down quite a bit.

"Look it's simple. You say a word and we have to say the first thing that we think of when we hear the word. You got it?"

"Yea, I guess. Any word?" The three humans nodded.

"Okay ... space."

"Tardis"

"Stars"

"You"

"Aw, Yaz you think of me when you hear the word space? That's very flattering."

"Yea, well you are showing us the universe after all." Yasmin was blushing and hoped that the Doctor or anyone for that matter didn't notice.

"What do you think of when you think of Space, doc?"

Graham thought that the alien might have to think a bit longer about her answer but she surprised him when she spoke as soon as he said the last word.

"Life. I think of life itself when I think of space"

"Seriously? That sounds very sappy even for you Doctor."

"Well, it's true Ryan." The Doctor was looking at Ryan with what she deemed her serious face but it was in truth simply adorable.

How did they all end up here? In a bigger on the inside police box sitting together and playing silly games with a mad woman . Oh and let's not forget that said mad woman was poisoned by an alien and was still a bit out of it.

"It's your turn Ryan"

"Alright! Okay this isn't as easy as I thought. I am going to go with something all of us love.", Ryan smiled and looked in the intrigued faces of his 'fam', " Food."

"This is totally not as epic as I thought it would be but I'd say sandwiches."

"Is that why you carry them around with you when we go on adventures grandpa?"

"Yes and also because we never get any food. By the way Yaz what do you think of?"

"Me and my sister fighting over the last piece of cake or biscuit. We've always been very passionate about food."

The Doctor smiled but her eyes also showed some sadness.

"It's good to have a passion and a family." Towards the end of the sentence her voice got quieter but then her face lit up and she gave her answer.

"I think of biscuits! Lots and lots of biscuits and fish fingers and custard but not of apples or pears. Stay away from those!"

Graham laughed because only the Doctor could actually distrust some fruits and vegetables.

"Is there some backstory that we have to uncover?"

"Maybe but not right now. Right, I believe it's Yaz's turn now."

The humans looked at each other but they chose to ignore the doctor's obvious change of topic and the way her face fell as she seemed to remember the origin of her feud. They probably have to reach a higher level of friendship to unlock all of the tragic backstory.

"Good I am going to try and think of something more interesting than Ryan. Fun."

Yaz looked quite smug as she saw her friends thinking about their answers. Graham was the first to come up with something.

"A quite night watching some TV or reading a nice book. I am getting old and after all the running I actually appreciate some down time."

"Seems fair enough, old man. Sorry grandpa you said you were old yourself. I think of a nice night out with my friends away from my boring work. Just being able to let go. Celebrating and maybe having a drink. Doctor?"

"Fun. I don't know. There are so many things that are fun. Maybe laughing. It doesn't matter with who. As long as everyone is laughing an earnest, happy laugh or at least smiling then that is fun for me. Of course is traveling through the universe always number one but I wanted to choose something more relatable."

"Very kind of you, doc."

" That's what I try to be. Never cruel, never cowardly. Always kind."

The Doctor focused on something on the wall behind Graham and starred at it without even blinking. Her expression was normally cheerful and hopeful but now it was suddenly filled with sadness and doubt. The mood change happened so fast and unexpected that it shocked the companions a bit.

" Doctor? Doctor!"

"Huh? What?"

"You kind of drifted of."

"Oh yea. That must be the aftermath of the poison it makes me somehow emotional."

"Do you want us to stop playing?"

"No! I won't spoil your fun Ryan. It's not like I've never been poisoned before."

"Why am I not surprised? Let me guess it was another alien race with creepy teeth or you ate some soil or plant that was actually poisonous."

"No it wasn't one of those things."

The sad wistful smile returned. And because it was better then the reaction to the food Yaz decided to dig deeper.

"What was it then?"

"Not a what, Yasmin. It was a who."

"Well?"

The timelady lost focus again. Her eyes were wide open as though they were trying to process her surroundings. Only that the Doctor wasn't scanning her surroundings . She looked around in her memories and saw a smile. The most beautiful smile. She looked at it every day for nearly 70 years while it was sitting on her desk at the university. It was captured moments after the Doctor was poisoned.

Unintentionally the Timelady's facial expression softened and began to mirror the one she saw before her inner eye.

"I didn't think that thinking of being poisoned could actually get you to smile so widely. But then again you eat soil."

"The poisoning was painful and I actually died but the person that committed my "murder" makes me smile."

"You died? The person killed you and you still smile when you think of the person ? Was it an accident?"

" Oh no. She actually set up a trap to get to me. Definitely not accident that one. It was not even her first attempt. I was able to avoid being shot."

"Okay, doc. I think that today messed more with your head then you want to admit. If this was a planned murder how can you even forgive such a thing ?"

"Oh, Graham. I always forgive. That's probably my greatest weakness. I always hope and I always forgive. But that one time it was the best thing I ever did. But let's continue with the game. I got distracted."

"Oh, no Doctor. You are not getting of the hook that easily. I want to know how the story ends."

"The end of the story? Death."

Her face was void of emotions as she said this. There was a coldness to her voice that send shivers down her companions spines.

"It always ends with death."

Graham was the first to recover from the initial shock.

"We get it you died. But you came back to life so what happened then? What happened to the person that killed you?"

" She killed me again."

"I don't follow this whole thing anymore. You smile when you think of a person that killed you twice?! How is that even possible. We saw you escaping even the most dangerous situations and creatures. How was someone able to kill you twice?"

"Love."

"Love?"

"It's complicated."

"Well, you've got us hooked on the story now and we got all the time In the world."

"Okay. But you have to know that I am only going to tell you this because I am still affected by the poison. I usually don't like to talk about my past. It hurts to much. But I guess that this version of me is a bit more open about it's feelings anyway. I guess I could try to actually talk about my emotional baggage."

"We won't tell anyone. You can trust us and we will try and help you to cope with your problems. We are hear for you . We are your fam, remember?"

" I know, Yaz. Thanks for that guys. The woman that killed me, twice. She died for me the first time we met."

The Doctor's face fell again and was immediately consumed by grief and pain. Her eyes shone with unshed tears and she struggled to continue. Maybe she wasn't ready to open up. But she has carried all of this stuff with her for centuries now. It might be good to share at least a bit.

"I was as confused as you are right now but way more terrified of the prospect that someone that I just met sacrificed herself for me so willingly and with such determination. We were trapped in the biggest library in the world and the only way to rescue everyone in there was to sacrifice one person. I was ready to do it. I somehow always survive. But she didn't want me to die. She knocked me out and handcuffed me so that I wasn't able to stop her. But you know what terrified me the most in that moment? It wasn't the possibility of someone's death but the fact that this woman suddenly appeared out of nowhere and seemed to know everything about me. She told me that she was from my future. My future. The future is always scary.

While she was preparing to die she talked to me. But not for her comfort or to keep her focused. She talked to comfort me. She told me about our future. No big spoilers but tiny little things and then she was gone.

A person that I just met but that was important in my future and I just saw her die. I was so scarred.

When she killed me she saw me for the first time . Well, the first time that really counts. She was kidnapped while she was still in her mother's womb. She was taken and raised as a weapon. A psychopath designed just for me. Her whole life long they told her that I was a bad man, that I took here parents from her and that I killed billions of innocent creatures. The sad thing is it wasn't even a lie.

Then the first time she actually laid eyes on me was when she was only a few hours old and then the next time when she was still a little girl. The clever thing found a way to be with her parents after our meeting. But she was stranded in the wrong year. Her parents were as old as she was. So she went and became their friend. Her parents got to raise her after all without even knowing it.

The day she poisoned me she followed her parents, my best friends to the Tardis and somehow hijacked it."

As the Doctor mentioned that those people were her best friends the companions got even more confused. How many best friends did she have before them? Why were they the parents of her murderer? But they didn't have time to think about it to much because the Doctor continued to speak. Still quite and hugging herself sitting in her favourite spot right next to the fire. She was in so much pain and it hurt the humans to see the terrors reflected in her eyes. This little, normally cheerful person has suffered so much and this is just one of probably millions of stories.

"We crash-landed in Hitler's office. Not something I ever wanted to do. But madness follows her just as much as it follows me. Hitler actually shot her and she regenerated."

"Wait! You never mentioned that she was one of your kind."

"Well, she wasn't Ryan. Not exactly. It's complicated. Only as we saw her new body, me and her parents realised who she actually was. The shock distracted me and while I was able to stop her from shooting me I didn't notice how she put poisoned lipstick on. She caught me by surprise with a kiss. All is fair in love and war. This is how she killed me the first time."

"How'd you survive, doc?"

"She saved me."

"Did I miss something? You just said that she killed you!"

" That's right but she killed me based on the things she heard about me. She believed me to be an emotionless creature. Cruel and calculating without mercy. But while I was slowly dying I never blamed her for what was happening to me. Other people wanted to punish her for what she did. They hurt her right in front of my eyes. She screamed in agony and her parents had to stand by the side and watch. I loved her you know. Back then, even before that and I still do. I couldn't stand witnessing her get hurt and it surprised her.

Everything she thought she knew. All the lies and the brainwashing, she realised what was done to her and she recognised the mistake she made. Without hesitating she selflessly gave me all of her regeneration energy and saved my life.

She gave up her chance to live thousands of years just because some guy that she was supposed to hate showed her love and mercy. What a horrible early childhood she has had. And it's all my fault."

The Doctor was crying now. The tears streaming down her face without being stopped. The pain was visible in her eyes.

"Don't blame yourself it wasn't you that took her away."

"You're right but I still bound her to me forever. Don't get me wrong she stayed with me voluntarily but she always felt compelled to safe me, to always be there for me and never let me see her damage. She lived her life separately from me but I still brought he lots of pain and suffering. She didn't even mind the bad times, hell she thought that I didn't love her for most of our time together and she still did was she did without asking for anything in return. "

"But you did love her."

"Of course I did. How could I not? My crazy, beautiful, mad wife with the wonderful space hair and her trusty gun. I shouldn't like the gun but kinda do a bit. She was the most trustworthy, loveable, maddest person I know, knew. She had a smirk that could send armies running and smile that made women and men weak. She was a flirt if I ever saw one but at the same time the most loyal person imaginable."

"What was her name?"

"Her name was River Song. Whenever you need it the most there is a song and she was mine. My wife, my River."

"You married her?"

It was one thing that the Doctor loved that person but another that she actually got married. It was difficult to imagine her doing something so ordinary and normal.

"I certainly hope so! We had weddings on over 24 planets. All of them were beautiful."

"And she is dead now?"

"Ryan!? That is not very sensible!"

"It's alright Graham. Yes she is but then again she is not. She is somehow trapped in computer."

Yet another bit of information that was difficult to process.

"You said that her parents were friends of yours as well."

"Amelia Pond, the girl who waited and Rory the roman."

The Timelady's lips curled up into a tiny smile as she spoke their names but the tears still fell.

"Where are they now?"

The Doctor took in a deep breath before answering and than continued with a shaking voice.

"They are dead as well. Killed by Weeping Angels a long time ago in Manhattan. River had to watch and I couldn't safe them. Again. I promised them to keep them safe but i failed as I did so many times before and after that. Do you understand now why I asked you if you really wanted to come with me? As much as I look as though I can manage the aliens and monsters , sometimes I loose. It always ends with death for me"


End file.
